Dating apps are a whole different thing that I know nothing about because I have never had to use one but I am sure a lot of people my age remember a texting app called KIK and this was a lot of old guys posing as young dudes to get girls. I actually have a funny story about my dad, he went a bar with my mom when they were together and it turned out to be a gay bar and my mom enjoying the new friends and compliments and free drinks, my dad sat there uncomfortably because he was constantly being hit on and they never left him alone so he was indeed the prey. I try to go to the least popular pump now and get gas during down hours but sometimes you can’t avoid it. In my personal experience it is always at gas stations. I feel that many women can relate to this, maybe not the bars because cat calling and just creepy men in general start off way before you can go into a bar. ![]() And he was unpleasantly surprised to learn that the grass is far from greener on the other side of the fence. This young man certainly wasn’t used to being prey. But the “women must attract/men must be attracted” social scenario sets up a situation that encourages too many male predators. This man probably isn’t one of the predators. I would be lying if I said it didn’t get to me… within a 2 hour span it got me really down and I was feeling really uncomfortable with everything… I ended up deleting my profile at the end of 2 hours and kind of went about the rest of my night with a very bad taste in my mouth. I would say no and they usually didn’t take it too well… I got the NoStringsAtttached messages, with multiple guys sending me messages asking me to watch them cam, or meeting up with them within the hour, or talk with them on the phone or cyber. I was about to leave again, but I was kind of curious now, so I waited another minute, and sure enough, a third message popped up (also I feel this is a good point to say that my friend would be the first to say she’s a pretty average looking girl).Īfter 20 minutes of message bombardment the conversations all got weird, increasingly aggressive and sexual, and even vulgar. I messaged him back staying as neutral and as uninterested as possible without being mean. ![]() So he finished the profile and was about to sign off when another message arrived. It wasn’t mean, but it was odd, coming so soon. Now, posed as a girl, he got a message before he’d even finished “her” write-up. The experience was quite different from when he had set up a real profile years before and received a few nice messages. So he set up a fake profile, using her picture (with permission) to prove how right he was. He had been joking with a female friend about how easy women have it with online dating. Like a guy who posed as a girl on a dating site and lived to write about it on Reddit. But whether o r not this may be one cause of homophobia, guys don’t seem to like it much when tables turn. It’s like they’ve been treated like a human being their whole life and then, POW, they’re a piece of ass and nothing more. The leering guy on the street, the heavy hitter in the bar, the frotteurist on the subway, the molesting uncle, the aggressive fraternity brother, etc.ĭoes homophobia arise partly from being demoted on the food chain and feeling like prey, she wonders? Not all men make women feel this way, she says, and probably most don’t, but we’ve all pretty much had this experience, whether it’s, Lisa Wade of Occidental College and the popular blog, Sociological Images (where I got the great cartoon, too.) It all depends.Īccordingly, women know what it feels like to be prey. Women are subject to the hunt whether they like it or not, so men’s attention can be pleasing, annoying, or frightening. Metaphorically, this is a predator/prey type relationship. ![]() ![]() Women are expected to attract, men are supposed to be attracted.
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